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Fo ho ho ho HIDAY.

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I accept a austere question!

And I’m serious.

Seriously serious.

Forever now, we’ve had one of those OLD Bose complete docks. A GIANT, ANCIENT GRAY SOUND DOCK, guys. For a, delay for it – ipod. Do those alike abide anymore??

I charge an upgrade. A Christmas upgrade. But this is the problem. We don’t accept like, a media animate or whatever. The complete berth (hahah!) sits on my table, appropriate abutting to my laptop, so I can ascendancy it. It’s not tucked abroad on a shelf or in a chiffonier with a remote. WAIT, I NEED A REMOTE. Okay this is activity no where.

My catechism IS: what array of complete arrangement (is that alike the word?) do you guys accept and adulation and captivate over? I appetite addition Bose, but are there any added brands I charge to explore? What added like, SOUND OPTIONS are there? Or is Apple all active into your abode walls and you apprehend music out of your pores, ya alien.

I’m aptitude against this, but I don’t appetite it on my table. I apprehend the adjustment of the apostle isn’t your problem. I aloof like auctioning ish on you.

You’re like, do you absolutely appetite me to deathwatch up my bedmate for this?

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Yes.

Let’s comedy a annular of . . .  WHAT CAMP ARE YOU IN?   ***applause acclaim applause***

You buy a bag of carrots. Do you:

1) Open the bag of carrots by mangling the alert and coiled sealer at the top of the bag?

or

2) Violently rip a aperture in the bag appropriate abutting to the coiled sealer?

You apperceive you abatement adamantine in one of these two camps.

‘Fess up, RIPPERS.

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Tell me something. What did carve does your 4 year old dig? I’m accepting an disturbing time advancing up with allowance account for these gremlinnnnnnnnsaaaaaa.

Already got them a kitchen. And a few like, art things. A nightlight for anniversary of their rooms. Few books. Added than that, academician tumbleweeds. Nat wants a blush Yo Yo, and Will wants a BIG TRAAAAIN. Okay. I can do that. (not the big part. I’m not insane.)

But what else?! You apperceive my simple style. But I additionally appetite them to adulation it. Hey, minimals (not to be abashed with millennials) – what do you get for your abate biters?!

Besides atramentous and switches.

Oh! Juuuust in case you’re attractive for press needs for Christmas, I wanna appearance you something.

ALSO, let me aloof say appropriate here, I apperceive it’s apparently cool cutting for you to be abounding with abatement codes and giveaways and buy this buy that YADDA YADDA YADDA, from amaranthine bloggers and influencers all up in your barbecue accustomed appropriate now. I get it. And I’m absolutely not aggravating to boost consumerism bottomward your throat. Please apperceive that. I’m aloof actuality to advice you save some dough, IF you’re absorbed in this photo anatomy or that boot. Das it! We coo?

That said, if you accept any press you’d like done for Christmas, my accurate adulation Artifact Uprising featured me on their armpit yesterday! I allocution all about allowance giving (obviously not for 4 year olds. waaah), and my intentions for a slower season. But I don’t get austere or anything. I allocution about COUSIN EDDIE for arrant out loud.

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They were absurd abundant to actualize a 10% abatement cipher for you, that’s accurate through Dec 7th! BEV10, babes. Use that.

Weekend plans?

It’s activity to be about SEVENTY.GALL-DARN.DEGREES.ON.SUNDAY. What is this crap? I assumption I should attending at it like, addition day abrasion mules! #amiright

We’re activity to Christmas ability tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not aggravating THESE SATANIC THINGS AGAIN. Hell no. But I do appetite to accomplish those old decrepit bottle best ornaments. I bought 85,000 of them at the ability store, so we’re putting our crafting pants on, gosh darnit. (<–my acquaintance Lacy aloof barfed at “crafting pants.”)

You’ve been alert to the Christmas mixtape, right?! Get your aerial in that.

Also, can you accept I was captivation up that astronomic Christmas timberline with one finger?!

. . . I wasn’t accomplishing that.

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